CELEBRATING BLACK LOVE ON BLACK LOVE DAY

CELEBRATING BLACK LOVE ON BLACK LOVE DAY

By Busola Awobode

The term “Black Love” ought to be synonymous with care and power. Yet like many other things designed to uplift the Black population it is criticized as hurtfully exclusive. Bringing the love back into Black narratives is something that Ayo Handy-Kendi took upon herself in 1993 when she created Black Love Day. This day was envisioned to be a 24-hour celebration of love for one another as Black individuals and to affirm Black love. On Black Love Day we should as Handy-Kendi says demonstrate the five tenets of love which are love for the creator, love for ourselves, love for our families, love for the Black community and love for the Black race. Because loving and appreciating ourselves does not mean hating others. So, this year for Black Love Day we highlight and celebrate three exquisite couples who embody Handy-Kendi’s vision of Black Love every day both in their relationships and their professional lives. 

SAMIA AND PETER LONELLE 

Peter & Samia Walker and children

What once seemed like an accidental encounter turned into a beautiful family with a strong relationship at its heart. Samia and Peter have spent the better part of the decade not only supporting and healing each other but creating a blueprint for successful entrepreneurs in the New Bedford community.

But, they deny any assumptions of perfection. As Samia says “we don’t do the Disney fairytale type”. They reject the notion that flawlessness is attainable but instead choose to be real each day understanding the growth behind their success. 

They both acknowledge that they came from rough backgrounds and were unsure how to navigate healthy relationships even with each other as they found themselves hurting the other in the earlier parts of their relationship. But it’s been quite some growth for them and they acknowledge that trust, faith and communication has sustained them as they continue to grow together. According to Peter, “the beauty in the story of who [they] are is in the messiness of how [they] got to where [they] are now”. 

This journey has not only helped them find love in each other, but they have found self-love as well. This has led to working on ending generational curses and building something for the next generation. “Black excellence” is something that Peter emphasizes as a motivator to build and maintain Black businesses and spaces. And boy do they keep very busy building. They are both involved in 3rd Eye and run Doodles Creative Sessions, Samia is the Executive Director of the New Bedford branch of E for All, Peter runs Still Ill Apparel and they both volunteer, giving back to the community that has supported them. 

When it comes to who they are as Black entrepreneurs and a Black couple, they are not afraid to celebrate Black power. As Samia says they enjoy “loving out loud” because Black love is important and exciting. 

ROSEMARY AND WHYNTON 

Rosemary & Whynton Williams

It was a true 90 Day Fiancé experience for Rosemary and Whynton (without the intensity or theatrics Rosemary jokes). They met at a resort where Whynton worked while Rosemary was on vacation in Jamaica with her mother. The couple kept in touch, with Rosemary visiting Jamaica often before getting married six years ago and moving to the United States. “It’s the true Caribbean love story,” Rosemary says. Since then, they have been able to grow their family as well as their respective businesses. 

Whynton, who has some background in agriculture, owns a landscaping and home improvement company called Williams Landscaping and Handyman Services as well as juggling a full-time job. Rosemary works in neurologic music therapy at an early intervention program and has also created a business surrounding music therapy and wellness. She owns Mindful Melodies LLC and is currently in graduate school getting her master’s degree in social work. 

Yet owning a business is no easy feat. There is a level of dedication they both bring to their work, and they believe that you must genuinely love what you do when building a business. So, they try to surround themselves with entrepreneurs who are as passionate about their businesses to build a network of support among people who share this specific experience. 

With such busy schedules, it is no surprise that they are often asked how they make it work. But they are grateful to have a support system and a family. As Whynton says “without them, we wouldn’t be able to work as hard as we do”. Outside of family and work, they also speak of the importance of making time for your spouse and being constantly invested in your relationship. They make it a point to “leave business alone” when they are focused on each other or family time. 

Love and family are some of the best things they love about being a Black couple. Being able to honor those that came before you, that paved the way for you to love as you do is one of the key pieces in celebrating Black Love Day for Whynton. 

SIL AND ELAINE

Sil & Elaine Alves

Being together for more than three decades is no easy feat, but Sil and Elaine make it seem almost effortless. They often get remarks on how long they have been together, and they are nothing but proud of sustaining their relationship as long as they have. They believe that one of the biggest factors to their success has been the fact that they complement each other; she is strong-minded and he is easygoing. They can fill the spaces that the other lacks, encourage and be present for each other.  

Sil and Elaine both own For Our God Only or F.O.G.O which is an apparel store. Like many other business owners, they were unaware of what running a business truly entails. As Elaine says, “when you have a desire, you don’t see past the desire”. Nevertheless, they are still excited about the business and overwhelmed by the amount of support they have received particularly because they opened just before the pandemic hit.  

Working together while married can sometimes cause a rift, but Sil and Elaine talk a little bit about how it has helped them grow as individuals and as a couple. Sil says that the business has taught him how to listen while Elaine speaks on the respect that has blossomed from their partnership. Both agree that they have learned how to communicate better and understand that disagreements between partners in a business stay in the office, it does not have to follow them home. They try to remember in all things that their relationship came first and prioritize spending time with each other. Overall, the business is “maturing [them] in a different way” as Elaine says. 

They both attribute the success of their business largely to family so much so that they think of it as a family affair. Their family has not only supported them in getting their brand out, modeling their outfits and patronizing their designs, but the idea to start F.O.G.O came from their daughter who runs a law firm and gives them legal advice. “You can’t succeed without those that you love” says Elaine. 

Apart from family, another big piece to their success has been the support from other Black-owned businesses. For them being supported by and being able to support other small Black-owned businesses gave them the foundation they needed to grow. And this is specifically important as Elaine believes that these businesses share in a struggle so they should want to help each other. Her desire is for Black-owned businesses to come up and lift each other. 

When talking about Black love, Sil states that for him supporting each other is the epitome of Black love. He recalls his parents and how much they care for each and for him that is beautiful. He strives to set the same example for his daughter that his parents set for him. Elaine says that Black love is power.